I was wondering how do I make myself confident, one minute I feel like I’ve got it and I am good enough to make it into the music business, but the next I feel like I shouldn’t waste my time. My mom is very up and down, but how do I stop listening to the people around me and use the talent god gave me?
Thank you for your time, and I would love to hear from you.
Confidence. It’s a big word, with a bittersweet aftertaste. How does it really work? Are there really singers who just have this freakishly unrealistic ability to get up on stage and NEVER feel inadequate
? And are the rest of us bound to an eternity of constant wondering, "am I good enough to do this?"
Well I have good news, and bad news. Yes the two extremes exist, but most of us fall right in the middle. It’s part of the human condition to fear failure to the point of holding our progress hostage. That’s how we were created. The bad news is, even professional vocal coaches second-guess themselves and their abilities. Everybody does to a certain degree. The good news is, that no matter which side of the spectrum you fall on, there are ways to increase the number of times you feel confident, and decrease the number of times you don’t.
First, know what to expect out of your voice. Confidence starts with good technique and training, and the ability to use it. Think back to when you drove a car for the first time…. There’s so much going on at the same time, so many nobs, handles, wheels, not to mention the impending danger of the other cars coming straight at you. Did you feel confident the first time? Probably not. But something happened the second time didn’t it. You knew what to expect. You weren’t COMFORTABLE yet, that came later, but you knew what to realistically expect out of the yourself, the car, and the road. (Or parking lot in my case.) Here’s the bottom line: Know what to expect out of your own voice. Know what you’re dealing with. If you’re unsure, that’s okay. Just find somebody who can help, and work on this for a while.
Second, if you’re already to a place where your voice is consistently cooperating with you, and you’re getting what you want out of it more often than not, then this one will be quick. Trust your voice. If you are to a point where you can open your mouth and KNOW what’s going to come out, then it’s no different from practice, to the stage, to the studio. Seems too simple doesn’t it? But it’s really a much bigger concept than you think initially. Say it out loud. "Trust my own voice." Trust that your hard work has paid off. Trust that you ARE where you want to be, and that when you open your mouth, the magic will be there.
Thirdly, make sure it’s something that YOU want to do, and that you feel LED to do. If you’re a sparrow, all the lessons in the world couldn’t make you pass for a confident peacock. Seek counsel and advice, just don’t allow any other humans to get in the way of what you want or what God wants for you.