Do you ever find yourself ruthlessly picking at something in your voice or appearance that you don’t like or wish you could change? For most of us, the question should probably start with…how many times.
If it’s a physical characteristic that can be changed through exercise, diet, cosmetics, or surgery, there is hope. But nothing will seriously change until genuine acceptance and appreciation for who you are takes place. That doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily like everything you hear, feel, think, see, taste, and smell about yourself. But, whatever choice you make and actions you take must always come from a point of accepting the total package as a gift that’s yours to shake up, unwrap, open, and share.
Heal The Wound
However, there are times when we will mercilessly pick at ourselves, often to the point of serious wounding. That open wound can then become infected if it is not properly cleansed and dressed with love, care, and respect.
If you’re beating yourself up to the point where things that once worked well are not quite working up to speed, you need to step back and assess the situation. But don’t do it all by yourself.
Your Personal Believers
We sometimes forget or take for granted a very real truth in our lives. There are people in who have always been supportive, no matter what. So, select three people–past or present, living or deceased-that have always cheered you on, cared about you, and believed in you. These are people that don’t desert you when you stumble or screw up. When the going gets rough, these are the ones who show up to correct and comfort, or they come to mind and stir your heart in times of great joy and deep grief. So write down the names of these three people.
Reflect With Respect
One by one, think of at least two positive things that each has said to you to encourage, compliment, or correct you. Then, think of something you have accomplished that each person has had a hand in helping you achieve.
Maybe they inspired you, encouraged you, or instructed you. Maybe they were instrumental in opening a door of opportunity that led to a break or a major leap for you creatively, emotionally, personally, or professionally.
Claim What They’ve Named
Read aloud the positive things they have said about you, but turn it into a positive observation you are making about yourself. Now look at the accomplishment or achievement each had a hand in, and imagine yourself in that time and place. As you reflect, repeat the words they spoke to you, again turning them into positive statements about yourself.
Take Note + Deliver
Now, you are to hand-write a thank you note to each person, citing the role they’ve played (or play) in helping you stay positive in the pursuit of your singing success, artistic integrity, and career commitment. Thank them for their belief in you.
Then, you are to send or personally deliver the handwritten letter to them. If the person is deceased, the letter is to be sent or personally delivered to a family member, loved one, or close friend of theirs.
Assess Your Best
Next, make a list of things you know are unique strengths you have as a singer, musician, performer, and/or songwriter. Jot down a few words about what you are doing to build on each of those strengths.
Then, review you list and think about the part that each of those three people who’ve encouraged you has played in affirming, defining, influencing, and possibly even directing those strengths.
Keep Building Up
Whenever you get down on yourself, it should only be for the sake of building yourself up. If you need to throw away or let go of a few things you’ve outgrown or have no use for, that’s a good thing. Part of the process of building yourself up requires some healthy housekeeping.
Be grateful. Encourage and help others along the way. Remember all those who affirm, support, reprimand, strengthen, and serve to see that only the very best of that gift that is you gets shaken up, unwrapped, opened, and shared for the sake of the greater good!