Uncover the Source of Desire

Happy Belated Thanksgiving Singers!

I hope you enjoyed the holiday, it’s always been one of my favorites. As I was relaxing with my family on Thursday I had a thought about the capacity of our giftings. I don’t mean, gosh we’re so talented someone should award us with bars of gold. I meant, we usually see our giftings one, maybe two dimensionally. Sometimes I have a conflict of soul where I think, “Self, why are you so content being at home with friends and family, etc. but feel anxious at the thought of foreboding musical work ahead? Isn’t this your passion? Shouldn’t you be beside yourself with excitement of working hard in music?” This is a dangerous thought. I’ve suffered from it a hundred billion times. You question your drive, desire, passion, ability, or motivation. But there is an important distinction I need to make. The importance is not in the question itself but where that question comes from.

Did you catch that? Go ahead and ask yourself…”Self, why do I question my desire or waning passion?” For some, it’s that you aren’t in fact meant to pursue music with your career…But for many more of us, it’s that we are COMPARING our desire to someone else’s goals. This is so freakishly huge people. There is so much more to our musical endeavors than to “make it”!!! This comes back to what I was saying earlier about the capacity of our giftings. The moments I question whether or not I’m doing what I’m supposed to I realize the source of that question came from dwelling on other’s success and feeling down on myself for not striving for the same end goal. To be honest, I don’t WANT your goal. I want mine. And that is a deep ever-growing thing to expose. King Solomon, The King of Israel, (way back when BC) said “The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters.” The creative pensive self indulgent side of all of us is going, “OMG yes I’m so deep and no one gets me.” Well, yeah, including yourself. Because we are ridden with self doubt and insecurities so we constantly compare ourselves with what looks to be a complete secure being, i.e. a “more successful” artist.

Now, success is in the eye of the beholder. I’m not famous, but I love helping singers get closer to that goal. Do you know that took me some humbling to get to where that’s a true and pure statement? All of us get jealous and grope for achievement. But to really get that your talent, gift, and creativity are actually deeper than the external appearance of success means that you are honestly getting to enjoy the creativity inside of you. If you have ever had a thought like me, wondering if you are passionate enough, talented enough, or driven enough…re-evaluate where you got your goals and think about what music really means to you. Just because you have fears that you’d rather be having coffee with a friend than pushing your career forward DOES NOT negate your love of what you do. It should instead reveal something about the direction you want to pursue. If you (like me) want to hang with friends all day instead of networking or marketing yourself, maybe that tells you that you are relational and you would enjoy growing in your music most when it’s shared with other people or experienced with loved ones. Try this on for size, instead of letting your fears negate your calling, try to let them expose it instead.

Just a thought. Think about it. Your capacity is great. Don’t limit yourself to the world’s version of passion.

My thanksgiving reflections…

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