It sounds like a cliché but many of the greatest lessons learned and the greatest personal or professional growth comes with trial or a challenge of some kind. In this case the cliché is true. What is needed is a healthy perspective that will help you bounce back after setbacks and major disappointments.
One of the worst things to do is isolate yourself. It tends to lead to self-pity, feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and can lead to depression. You must remember that you’re not alone. Everyone has stumbled or made a costly mistake. When it comes to the business of the arts so many decisions are subjective. You may have given your very best, but it wasn’t a good fit or the right or perhaps those making decisions were very short-sighted or had very poor taste. Sometimes you weren’t feeling well or you’re timing was off, and you simply couldn’t recover in that short time you had during the audition or studio session. It happens.
Turn To Loved Ones
When disappointments come, sometimes you feel so alone that you feel like giving up. But when you look within yourself, way down deep inside, you come to the realization that you’re really not alone. In fact, you should turn to people you love and care for who will listen to you vent and offer support.
Talking about your problems is a good way to recover–especially when you can share them with someone within your circles of connections. These are people that will want to help. Sometimes it’s hard to open up because you might feel you’ll be judged, or you’re afraid they won’t understand. You might fear they’ll be disappointed in you. That’s normal to fear that. But friends and family who know you will help you talk things out and regroup.
When you get involved with others and their trials and challenges, suddenly yours don’t seem so overwhelming. You can also help each other by sharing obstacles or tough times you’ve made it through. Your tough time could wind up providing insight for you and someone else. Find ways to give of your time in helping others. You might even decide to have a mini bitch and moan, we’ll show you, backyard concert!
Encourage Don’t Discourage
Remember it’s hard to bounce back if you’re always down on yourself and beating yourself up. Poor self-esteem and negative self-talk invites sabotage and self-destructive behavior. It’s also a huge energy drain. It sets you up for failure and disappointment. But, if you’re honest with yourself and others, you start to feel good about yourself. You realize you have talent and have value. Once you know that you matter you can regain your composure and get focused.
Remember that in most cases people are more concerned with what’s wrong with themselves or the project they’re developing or the band they’re booking than they are with what’s wrong with you or your talent. The only real observer of your problems and challenges is you. You are in control. Don’t let negative thoughts take the wheel and drive you into a ditch.
Ninety-nine percent of the time it’s up to you to take the initiative to get yourself back on track. Don’t wait for a friend to check on you to see what’s going on or to make you feel better. Take the initiative to make the call, text, knock on their door, or meet for coffee. Ask a friend or two to join you for a walk or jog or a movie. The important thing is to take the to make a move to do something positive.
The way you frame a situation has a lot to do with whether or not you’ll hang onto it or hang it up. A little creative thinking and a concerted effort to see things in a positive way will turn things around eventually. Again challenges or problems become opportunities to grow. Stumbling blocks really can become stepping stones.
Don’t put your life on hold waiting for your hopes and dreams to come true. Just because you didn’t the part or weren’t chosen for the showcase or whatever is no reason to call it quits. There are so many exciting challenges and opportunities coming down the road. Life is too precious to be spent doing nothing. Take some risks. Confront a fear. Learn something new. It gives you a sense of revival in the face of what initially felt like defeat.
Plates Full Of Grateful
Be grateful for the trials and troubling times that you face from time to time. Of course that’s easy for somebody else to say if they’re not in the midst of that combination earthquake-tornado that’s struck. But those are the very times when you grow in the way that you handle recovery and learn from the challenge. In fact, it’s a good idea to keep a notebook or journal or dedicate a few word files to for charting your recovery and cataloging your insights. If nothing else you may be able to help someone else through a setback or two.
Tough times build character, patience, and perseverance. Unfortunate events often become valuable lessons that help you breeze through rough patches down the road that might have otherwise sent you crashing while running for cover.
Those tough times also teach you a lot about yourself, your needs, dreams, and what matters most in the long run. During challenges and trials you have to dig deeper to find the resources and strength and even gifts that you never realized you had. It truly does force you to look within for hidden treasure. But share that treasure once it’s discovered!
Get Real, Be Brave
Finally, one of the biggest unnecessary stumbling blocks can be setting unrealistic goals or unrealistic time frames for meeting those goals. There’s nothing wrong with making grand plans for future success. They can even be a bit out of the box so to speak. Something that will stretch you is a good thing. But what’s important is that you are able to keep your expectations realistic. That big break or recording contract is not going to come looking for you. That’s going to take tremendous effort on your part.
It will take a real day by day commitment to exercises and lessons laid out in your Singing Success program and whatever else you’re doing to hone your craft and strengthen your voice. Believe in your voice and understand each journey is unique and the road you take is measured by your own higher standard time.